Don't you send me to vm
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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