i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
