I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
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