i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
