Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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