I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize