you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
