Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
