god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
