I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
