I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
