How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You smell like stripper and shame
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
