I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We are two peas in an std pod
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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