When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
