Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
she looked like the before picture.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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