where am i from again
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
