Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
