i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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