woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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