never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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