You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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