My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
