That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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