if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
