This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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