he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
