i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
