no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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