none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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