and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
