will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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