He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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