The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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