Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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