In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
