wakey wakey hands off snakey
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
