Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
