why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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