He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
