That's when you crack a 10am beer
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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