is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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