i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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