i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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