first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
