it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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