So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize