I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
