winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
