Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
