you would pick up someone in the library
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
