Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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