The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Randomize
