If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Randomize
