you guys were way drunker than both of me
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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