They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
