hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
