oh god the rape fog is back!
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
