So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
