If i come over, it means nothing
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
