just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize