Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
