what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize