We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
