You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
