we're chasing vodka with high fives
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You ruined the universe
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
