I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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